By David Montero
Courtesy of the Orange County Register
Nobody is expecting LA Kiss quarterback Colt Brennan to line up behind the line of scrimmage in 7-inch platform boots and take the snap from a center whose face is painted like a member of the high-octane band bearing the same name as that on the team’s orange and black helmets.
Kiss bass guitarist and relentless self-promoter Gene Simmons isn’t going to play in short-yardage situations with hopes that his tongue will stretch through the helmet face guard for a few (no, several) extra inches to pick up a critical first down.
And when it is suggested – jokingly – that newly acquired linebacker Beau Bell could make his entrance to the Arena Football League team’s debut at the Honda Center by descending on a giant mechanical spider – like the band has done – he laughed.
“I’m afraid of heights,” Bell said. “I’m not coming down on that.”
As the laughs of the executives – dressed in suits and sitting in the swanky bar of the Honda Center during a November afternoon interview – died down, LA Kiss President Schuyler Hoversten offered that the spider thing would still be pretty cool.
It would be pretty cool.
Those five words could be the distilled business plan that’s guided Kiss for four decades as it pursued an image of excess and relentless marketing that has left the indelible imprint of black and white face makeup and the all-caps KISS logo on everything from caskets to Hello Kitty.
Simmons and Kiss co-founder Paul Stanley have called their band a “brand.”
Now they’re moving into football in Southern California, preparing for their April home opener, and will unveil a line of team-related merchandise Tuesday night at the Honda Center.
The LA Kiss would seem to be an unlikely avenue for Simmons, who told Bill O’Reilly in 2002: “What is all-American is to be on a football team and put on big guards and go bang into another guy. I don’t necessarily think that’s a good thing.”
It would appear he’s changed his mind.
The last AFL team here was the Los Angeles Avengers in 2008. It played at Staples Center and, in its last year, averaged 13,590 fans. It drew more than 869,000 over the course of nine seasons.
The AFL shut down operations in 2009 and the Avengers folded. In 2010, the league came back under new leadership and this year marked the expansion of the AFL to Southern California when Commissioner Jerry Kurz announced the new team with its owners – Simmons, Stanley, Doc McGhee and Brett Bouchy. Team officials said that although the team plays in Anaheim, they expect the fan base to encompass the greater Los Angeles market.
When asked at the news conference how the team was going to promote itself, Stanley said: “We have big mouths.”
The singer-guitarist whose makeup consists of the black star over the right eye said in an interview with the Orange County Register that the AFL experience with LA Kiss will be unique.
He said he wanted a person who drops $99 for a season ticket – which averages out to about $10 a game – to feel like they got football and entertainment.
“I’d rather go for people rappelling from the ceiling,” Stanley said. “I’d like to incorporate elements of Cirque du Soleil.”
Bouchy, who was the managing partner for the Orlando Predators, said the idea of the LA Kiss came when he was talking to a friend about having the band Kiss play at the AFL championship game. The band had already played at the closing ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. Simmons had sung the National Anthem before an NFL game in London. Bouchy said the idea morphed into fusing the band with a team. He thought the energy of Kiss matched the league’s offensive-minded template, where the final scores resemble those of college basketball games. Plus there would be loads of entertainment.
“This is no offense. I’m the biggest NFL fan, but why shouldn’t I demand entertainment during every break in the game?” Bouchy said. “When I go to an NFL game, I might be entertained for 30 or 45 minutes. We’re going to have a full sensory experience.”
He said LA Kiss is working on a “ref cam” where a viewing audience can see the action from the officiating point of view. He said some seats are so close to the field that a player might end up in the seats.
“I can hit somebody so hard, they can fly over the wall and land in someone’s lap,” Bell said. “My mom’s lap maybe.”
David Martin, executive director of the sports business institute at USC, said the LA Kiss will be challenged in a place that has “everything.”
“The competition is more fierce here than about anywhere else in the country,” Martin said. “That said, there is no reason why a well-run and well-managed team can’t prosper.”
He said the team is aided by the Kiss brand, calling it “really strong.” But not everything Kiss touches is successful. The band suffered through tepid ticket sales in the mid-’80s as it churned out underwhelming albums such as “Creatures of the Night” and “The Elder.” A Kiss-themed coffeehouse chain established in Myrtle Beach five years ago closed this year due to sluggish business.
Bouchy said the team has a five-year lease with the Honda Center. He said 4,000 season tickets have been sold and there is a new promotion where, in a partnership with CHOC, a sick child will receive a gift for each season ticket purchased.
In addition, season ticket holders will get to attend a Kiss concert at the Honda Center at a later date.
Three self-proclaimed Kiss fans who host a YouTube show dedicated to the band suggested the concert might be the end game.
One of the hosts, Michael Brandvold, offered a theory that the tickets will simply be collectibles for fans who want to see a concert.
Stanley said he and Simmons are committed to the AFL and the LA Kiss and that there will be enough appeal for everyone.
“I would love to see the team be worthy and justify a long existence at the Honda Center,” Stanley said. “I don’t get involved in things unless I do them 100 percent. Kiss has always been about self-empowerment and believing in yourself and going against the status quo and, in that process, winning. That’s powerful and has resonated for 40 years.”
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